A HeartThing

God is Good!~

2010-02-08T08:29:00.000-08:00

So much has happened since our last post. Our lives have been a bit of a blur with a lot of worldly distractions, you can learn more about what's been going on in this post. The devil has a way of raking you over the coals sometimes. The fog seems to be clearing and just in time to tackle a new family crisis!

In the midst though, God has sent some wonderful words and people our way. Encouragement has been abundant and we are so excited about the new information about Help Christians Adopt. The family we are currently sponsoring Baron and Laura Goins have been matched a with birth mother (read about God's AMAZING timing here) and were able to spend a weekend with her recently (read post). Since then two more families have called me and asked to donate to their adoption!!! God is soooo good! We've also received word from another group that they plan to make a donation!

So in the middle of sadness, disappointment, and discouragement come voices of sweet Christians that have allowed God to lead them in their giving to a precious mission effort! For that silver lining I am forever grateful. I am reminded that God never leaves us, forgets about us, or turns away. He is ever present and always there to comfort us in whatever we are struggling with.

Remember to Be Strong in the Lord and He will lift you up!

Shock and Awe

2010-01-04T06:55:00.000-08:00

With a recent turn of events, our future is looking very different than I envisioned a few days ago. How quickly things can change. Adding to our family we believe is still God's plan, but recently He gave us clarity that we cannot deny. We will not be adopting Zane. With a broken heart, I am reminded of the timely phone call from my sweet Aunt Suzanne last week. God led her to pray with me on the phone. Her motive was pure and her request for God to make it obvious and clear was answered.

My original reaction was shock. How could I have become so emotionally involved with a child unknown to me that would not soon be mine? The shock of a devastating loss was quickly replaced with AWE. Awe of God, His power, clarity, and promise. As my heart bleeds for sweet Zane, I have full confidence God has a home for him.

I will continue to pray through my shock and awe as I wait for His will to be revealed. One thing I know, praying brothers and sisters with constant encouraging words have made this journey bearable. We are blessed.

We're Expecting

2009-12-19T07:15:00.000-08:00

It's official the call came yesterday to say that we were the chosen family for Zane!! We are excited and filled with so many emotions. What a wonderful early Christmas present! Hopefully we will be able to meet him in mid January and by the end of the month he will be with us permanently. As our waiting continues we covet your prayers for our family and Zane.

With new beds to buy, rooms to rearrange, and plans to make we'll be busy making everything special for him! The kids are excited and anxious to meet him. We love you Zane!

To God be the glory in ALL things!

345,600 Seconds and Counting...

2009-12-15T06:12:00.000-08:00

What is a second? 1 mississippi, 2 mississippi, 3 mississippi...that's how I've always counted them. Most of us consider a second the quickest measure of time. Something that goes by so quickly you barely have time to blink. But think about what LESS than a second can mean to a marathon runner, an olympic swimmer, or a mom whose child has just touched a hot stove. They'll tell you that a whole second is a lifetime. And that a lot can happen in that amount of time.

Do you know how may seconds are in one day? Me neither, so I had to look it up. 86,400. What do you do with all that time? What if you sat in a chair and counted out loud...1 mississippi, 2 mississippi, 3 mississippi? Wouldn't it seem to take forever?

Well, in approximately 345,600 (4 days) we will find out if we are the chosen family for Zane! We will finally get the answer we've been waiting for. God's plan will be revealed. It is so excited and scary. I'm covered with anxiety and overcome with happiness! There is so much to do, so many plans to be made. Adding a new member to your family comes with a host of emotions and we seem to be experiencing all of them at once :). It's just like when I was "expecting" with our birth children.

Whatever God's answer is, we have FULL confidence and faith that HE will make a way for this to work. He will conquer our fears, comfort Zane in the transition, and give us the words and actions to make Zane feel a part of our family. He will surround us with love, people, and resources for support! We will have victory in Jesus!!!

So, in this case a second seems as though it may last a lifetime, as these will be the longest 345,600 seconds we have ever had to wait. But keep praying...like I said, A LOT can happen in a second!!!

Why Do You Want to Adopt?

2009-12-04T12:11:00.000-08:00

This is a good question. One that I've actually asked myself this week. I've prayed for the answer and waited patiently. Since then God has reminded me loud and clear...convicted me of why I want to adopt...I read a blog post yesterday of a new found friend, Rachel Goode who too has a heart for adoption. It brought some clarity and has helped me cleanse my words, thoughts, and motives. In the post called "Segregation" she boldly talks about hypocrisy (that we are all guilty of), neatly sanitized Christian boxes, and sends out a call to action.

As you probably know, we have been "waiting" to hear about whether we will be the chosen family for Zane. The wait is difficult at times. I did talk with our placement specialist, Brian, early this week and he hinted around that he wasn't quite sure we were the "right" family for Zane. He confirmed that we have not been eliminated yet but something about the conversation made me feel uneasy. Apparently Zane isn't perfect! Turns out Brian thinks we are a "white picket fence" family! Hahahaha...

It was only after our phone call that I wondered, are we doing the right thing? Bringing a stranger into our home, feeding them, loving them, showing them Jesus. I mean isn't that risky? Aren't we putting our "perfect little family" (whatever that is) in jeopardy? Couldn't it be disruptive?

Read those words again...bringing a stranger in, feeding them, loving them, showing them Jesus...does that remind you of someone? Isn't that what Christ does for us? He has adopted each of us as His children. We are sinners, imperfect, and humanly flawed. We are undeserving but God dines with us, He loves us unconditionally, and He makes sure all our needs are taken care of. He gave us EVERYTHING! Talk about laying everything on the line...He did it ALL!

So why do we want to adopt? For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me. Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?, The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' Matthew 25:35-40. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27. We love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19.

I guess you could say we want to "get our hands dirty" serving Him and being about His business! What else can we do? We've been called and we must obey. God will give us the resources, people, and support to get through this. We want to adopt so God will be glorified! Is there any better reason?

Waiting...

2009-11-19T09:37:00.000-08:00

Thank you for all the prayers and well wishes as we continue our wait to adopt. Unfortunately I don't have any new news to report. We are still among 5 families being considered for Zane and no one has been ruled out thus far. In addition, another case has caused ours to take back seat but hopefully will be top priority soon.

It is very difficult to wait and wait and wait (Isaiah 40:30-31). God has provided many distractions like the birth of our new nephew Gavin, travel for work, home projects, good reads, and soon holidays. The children also struggle with waiting. They ask often (sometimes daily) if we've heard anything about Zane. Some days when we were hopeful to hear something, David would call me 2-3 times just to ask if I had heard anything. As a family we are as ready as we are ever going to be...just waiting on God. Confident of His faithfulness, we are constantly reminded of friends and family that are lifting us and Zane up in prayer! THANK YOU!!! I'm not sure how this will all turn out but one thing is for sure...God has a plan (Jerem. 29:11) and for that I am forever grateful!

Our ways are not His ways (Isaiah 55:8) thankfully, otherwise I'd make a big mess of things. Jerem. 10:23, reminds me that He is the ONLY one capable of directing the path our family takes.

The Words I would Say...

2009-11-13T13:49:00.000-08:00

I've heard this song a million times and love it. But today, I thought of Zane. So many of these lyrics have been my prayer over the past several months!

Better to Give than Receive

2009-11-12T13:51:00.000-08:00

On Monday, November 9th, David and I had the honor and privilege of surprising a very deserving family by telling them they were selected as the recipient of the funds collected thus far from Help Christians Adopt. Baron and Laura Goins are a Christian family that attend church at Vaughn Park Church of Christ, have completed their homestudy and are currently waiting for "the call". After an initial conversation about their adoption plans, we told the Goins that they were in our home because God had brought us together. We proceeded to share with them how we felt God had chosen them.

When we began Help Christians Adopt, we had no idea of who would be the family chosen. So we just prayed for God to send us that special family. As always, He was faithful and God made His plan clear.

The first mention of the Goins came in the way of an email from an old friend of a previous employer. Helen mentioned that her sister (Laura) had recently had a miscarriage and how Laura and Baron had decided to adopt. She thanked me for starting Help Christians Adopt. After reading the email, the first thing I did was pray. God, are you trying to tell me something?

A few days later I noticed a comment on one of my recent blog posts. It was from Laura. Obviously Helen (her sister) had given Laura the blog address. It stood out because it is VERY rare that someone leaves a comment on my blog. I thought the only readers were, well, my mom ;). So again I prayed. Random? Some would say so but after reading the comment from Laura I clicked on her blog and WOW! That very day she had updated her blog about their current adoption status. October 26th! I was able to read about where they were in the process and once again I asked God...is the Goins family the one?

A few days later David and I went to my in laws for lunch on Sunday (we do this often). I noticed a new picture on the coffee table. This stood out because they have very few pictures displayed in their home. I picked it up and in the picture was my brother in law and a young couple...yep! Baron and Laura Goins. Why in the world was this random picture on the coffee table. Again, I asked God...is this them? I'm sure by now He was thinking "What is she deaf, dumb, and blind?" :).

Finally we'd just about made our final decision and shared with our Sunday school class we had narrowed it down. After worship, I had a dear friend come to me and proceed to tell me about a couple that she knew of...

Dana: I know you have already decided on the family but I want to tell you about a family I've heard about.
Me: Oh, who are they?
Dana: Well I don't know them personally but they attend Vaughn Park Church of Christ and...
Me: Stop! Is it the Goins?
Dana: Yes, that's them...
Me and Dana: crying to much to speak :)

There is was God's final confirmation loud and clear!!! Powerful! Ok, Ok, I get it! Shortly after we contacting the Goins and invited them in our home.

Sharing this wonderful news with them was a gift to us...From their thank-yous, shocked but thankful expressions, and tears, we KNEW it truly is more blessed to give than receive. We share this expression of love with all those who have prayed, given, and shared Help Christians Adopt with others. We will keep you posted and keep praying for God's guidance as we continue this effort. Pass the new website along to friends and family and watch for more information to be posted soon about the Goins and their journey. www.helpchristiansadopt.com.

Update on Zane

2009-11-09T12:04:00.000-08:00

We just got word today that Zane's foster family does not plan to adopt him! This means, it is a real possiblity that we will be the family chosen for Zane. We are very excited about this news but of course the wait continues...I found out today that in addition to us, there are a few other families being considered. Our prayer is that he will be ours but we know God knows best! So we are asking for your prayers.

Pray for Zane and his heart as the transition will be difficult no matter who is his new family.
Pray for our family as we prepare to include a new member (whoever God chooses).
Pray for our patience in the system, process, and God's timing.

National Adoption Awareness Month

2009-11-09T05:53:00.000-08:00

November is National Adoption Awareness Month. Sunday, Nov. 8th was Orphan Sunday. Take a minute and watch these video clips...Powerful !

Orphan Sunday from Christian Alliance for Orphans on Vimeo.

Zane

2009-10-28T08:33:00.000-07:00

I've had mixed emotions about this post. Anyone who has ever thought about adopting and shared it with others, you'll understand. Sharing exciting news about progress and updates is fun and wonderful. It makes you feel good about the possibilities. Also it is so important to have prayers from others. On the other hand sometimes you question whether it is really the best thing...like if things don't work out then you'll have many to tell and that may cause sadness in my heart of having to share my disappointments multiple times.

Nonetheless, I have prayed about it and I think the prayers and thoughts are more valuable to me than any disappointments I may set myself up for :). So here goes...

As I stated in the blog entry "The Call" we are a match for Zane. But there are still many steps involved before anything is final. There are no guarantees. But for those interested, you may see and hear him at the link below. While he does have two half siblings, they do not live with them currently and will not be placed together. He refers to them in his video. Of course we are hoping to give him 2 brothers and a new little sister. :)

http://heartgalleryalabama.com/children/children_details.php?id=287

We covet your prayers!

The Call - Zane

2009-10-27T08:08:00.000-07:00

I guess this title could mean a lot of different things...The call could refer to a phone call or a calling from God. For our family the call has both of those meanings. We do feel as though God has shown us a way to get out of ourselves and into others.

A couple of months ago, we inquired about two young men that are available for adoption, Aaron and Zane. They are ages 12 and 14, no relation to each other and from different counties in the state of Alabama. God placed them on our hearts and we began praying. I thought by praying for them by name, two things would be accomplished. First it would help me to grow to love these boys and prepare my heart to be their mother IF that was God's will. I know loving a 13 year old child is different than a newborn. We'd have little time to bond and I wanted to be ready when God worked out the details. Second, if I wasn't meant to be their mother then I would still rejoice when a forever home was found. Clearly a win-win-win!

Our homestudy was sent about a month ago and today I got "the call". It was in the form of an email saying Aaron's foster parents had decided to adopt him. PRAYER ANSWERED! God was faithful and now this young man will have a forever family that loves and cares for him. Then I got another call...this call was a phone ringing. It was an adoption placement specialist and he had information about Zane.

We talked about our family and how we may be a possible match. God had been faithful again as I felt joyful and excited about a new son! Who knows if this will all work out...there is a lot of stuff to get through at this point. But my heart is ready. I'm not afraid. I'm at peace.

We hope to hear something about the next step by mid-November. Please join me in prayer for our family and the future God has in store for us.

Help Christians Adopt

2009-10-19T11:12:00.000-07:00

After our recent experience with fostering a newborn and delivering him to his new mommy and daddy, as we sit in wait to hear about the older children we've inquired about to adopt, God has shown us a way to pay it forward...

David and I have thought and talked many times about the 3 families at our church who have fostered and/or adopted. God reminded us that because of 3 families 7 souls are now on their way to heaven...7 SOULS! No one can deny that because these families said NO to fear and YES to God that lives will forever be changed!

What if we could challenge a group of Christians to pay it forward and give money to help a Christian family adopt. With the rising cost of adoption, many couples will never experience the feeling of being a parent. What if a child is adopted by a non-Christian family? Isn't that child being potentially robbed of knowing Jesus?

We began on Sunday, October 11, 2009, and challenged our group at church to consider giving something up this month to contribute to a fund to help a Christian couple adopt. Perhaps a meal out, maybe a birthday gift, or even a Halloween door decoration. Couldn't we all go without something frivilous to unite a child with his/her adoptive family and open the door to Jesus?

Things began to move quickly and soon a facebook group "Help Christians Adopt" was created and inquiries came in. Currently we have two possible couples that will be considered. We've set a deadline for November 8th and when we announced that an adoptive mom at our church asked why the deadline?...in other words, why stop this effort?

Good question. We have opened a bank account to hold all donations. What if there was a running balance in that account to help Christians adopt. Perhaps we could pay an adoption loan payment around the holidays for a family. Maybe we could pay the down payment required by some agencies. We know God will give the increase. We are merely trying to obey His calling.

Our current goal is $1000. Check out the vine (on the right) to keep up with progress. If you'd like to give click on the paypal button to the right. 100% of all donations go directly to a family to offset adoption costs. Although Paypal does keep a percentage of the donation, the Owen family will make up the difference. Not everyone can adopt...but we can all be a part of something bigger than ourselves and pay it forward!

The Chance of a Lifetime

2009-10-19T11:09:00.000-07:00

The past two weeks our family had the chance of a lifetime. We have been caring for a foster baby. He is absolutely perfect and is a constant reminder of God's goodness and power through the creation of tiny fingers and toes. Each member of our family has loved the baby in their own way. It was fun to have a few tiny new articles of clothing to wash the past two weeks. I've shared memories with each of my children about "when they were little". They seem to never grow tired of hearing about themselves as little bitties...

I've seen God through the eyes of my children and husband. The way they've loved on the baby, held him, and lovingly talked to him. So many questions about how long he will be with us, where is he going, can we see him again. Of course I have questions too. Who will be his mommy and daddy? Will they raise him up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord? Will they keep in touch? Will they send us Christmas cards? How long have they waited to have a baby? What will they think when they first meet their son?

God is using us to bring 3 families together. Through this precious bundle of joy, I've seen a glimpse of His power and divine wisdom. I'm overjoyed and forever grateful to have this experience. As I gaze into his sweet eyes, words cannot describe, my gratitude for the forever blessing this little guy has been to our family. It has truly been a chance of a lifetime!

The Call - Joseph

2009-10-19T11:01:00.000-07:00

For anyone who has fostered or adopted they know what "The Call" is. On Friday, September 25, 2009 I received a call from Susan, my social worker at AGAPE saying there was a newborn baby who had an adoptive home waiting who needed an interim caregiver. Were we interested? YES! Of course we were! Within hours I had a portable bassinet, bottles, clothes, blankets, and diapers waiting at my house.

The next day was Macy Kate and David's birthday. After a fun pirate party for MK that morning, we had a nice afternoon preparing for the sweet baby. That evening we went out to our celebration birthday dinner when my phone rang...

Julie?
Yes this is me...
We are leaving the hospital with the baby and will be at your house in under two hours. Squeal!!

Hanging up the phone I shared with the family that it wouldn't be long now. About 7:00 he arrived at our home, 48 hrs old and he was perfect. We were all instantly attached!

Our Journey to Foster - Love Thy Neighbor

2009-10-19T10:49:00.000-07:00

During our journey to foster and complete all of our paperwork, getting a neighbor reference was one of the requirements. I gave a name and address of my neighbor on the left to Susan, my social worker. It was her job to mail a reference letter for them to complete and return to AGAPE. For some reason the address I gave her was incorrect and we didn't know it until months later when we began officially completing our homestudy. Since we didn't have a neighbor reference yet, I had to get one. For some reason (God thing), I decided to ask my neighbor on the right to complete a reference form and return it to me so I could pass it along. I left it in her mailbox with a post it attached...

Ms. Vera, please complete this reference form for David and I. We are trying to complete our homestudy to foster/adopt. Thanks, Julie

Two days later I knew exactly why she was the neighbor meant to complete our reference...We were outside sitting around the pool when she walked over to chat. She asked me about the letter and got teared up. She began to tell me that her 2 grandchildren (one from each of her children) were both adopted! I had no idea!!! I had met them both on separate occassions as they visited from time to time. One living in Montgomery and the other in Georgia. We had a wonderful conversation in the Montgomery heat talking about the precious gifts. God is soooo good...He knew!!! She was very excited and happy for us in our journey.

There is nothing better than having God confirm what you believe He is sending you to do along the way!

Our Journey to Foster - A Year Later

2009-10-19T10:47:00.000-07:00

About a year ago, God showed our family something He wanted us to do, foster care and/or adoption of a child(ren). Blessed with a wonderful home, 3 healthy birth children, and an incredible support network through church, friends, and family, we began our journey in obedience and love for His will.

The first step was to sign up for the GPS training course required in the state of Alabama for all foster parents. We went through AGAPE and began the 10 week long program last fall. We had to commit to 10 class meetings of 3 hours each! It was difficult with our schedules but we knew God would help us figure it out and He did. During the training we had to do numerous pages of homework including answering very personal questions about ourselves, our upbringing, our marriage, and our own personal philosophies on raising a family. We had to be finger printed and a criminal background check was completed (they were both clean...shew! :)). Our social worker visited our home and interviewed our children.

As our 10 week training course came to an end we still had a few loose ends to tie up when the holidays came. Christmas was a blur and soon it was February. The list to complete included a neighbor reference, physical checkups and TB skin tests for everyone in the house, taking a water safety course (since we have a pool), and CPR/first aid training. Lots of time consuming things and with 5 schedules to coordinate it seemed a bit overwhelming at times. David and I would talk about getting it all done from time to time but we just never could find the time.
In late March we put the house up for sale by owner. We found a lot in a neighborhood in East Montgomery and were excited about building our first home...talking about the possiblities, driving around the new neighborhood, and looking forward to spending time with our new neighbors...

We kept the house spotless for weeks and showed the house many times. Lots of positive feedback but no offers. The spring dragged on and we began to doubt our decision to sale the house. We've worked hard to get rid of some debt over the past 2 years and we wondered if taking on a bigger mortgage just to have a "new" house was what God had in store for us. We ultimately agreed that we would take the house off the market and not over extend ourselves.

Shortly after that decision, things began to move along quickly. We committed to completing all of our tasks to become licensed foster parents. Finally in late August 2009, I submitted all the remaining documents. Our homestudy was complete and now we would just wait...

The Journey Begins

2008-09-13T15:42:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday, September 16th, David and I will begin a new adventure. For about two years I have been praying that God would make a way for us to make a difference in the life of a child(ren) in addition to our own. I was originally touched when Buddy Renahan from AGAPE spoke about the need for Christian foster parents/homes at our church. I felt very led and wanted desperately to help. Unfortunately, the timing was not right and so I've continued to keep this on my heart and in my prayers.

Being blessed with three healthy children we have a calling like no other to teach, love, and nurture them. What an awesome privilege and overwhelming responsibility at times. I do try every day to in some way make a difference in their lives. Some days I am more successful than others. It is such an honor to be a mother. Hugging my children and holding them close makes everything and I do mean everything better. Being so blessed, it only makes sense that we would open our hearts, family and home to share with children who may not ever have a place to call home or a family to belong to. The thing is, 100% of the time the children are the innocent party left to make sense of the chaos their parent has created. We feel as though God has put this ministry on our hearts for a reason. We haven't asked God, why us? We are just trying to have faith and obey. In doing so we will allow God to rule our world, decisions, and steps along the way.

In the past two years, God has shown us three Godly families at our church, The Bedgoods, The Campbells, and the Davidsons. The Bedgoods decided after having three healthy children, they would become a foster family. Their first children were a set of siblings Chris and Kenia. They eventually adopted them around the age of 2. They are now giving Chris and Kenia the home and family they deserve. The Davidsons are a couple that desperately wanted children but could not conceive. Through AGAPE Mark and Stacey adopted two precious twin boys, Sam and Cody at birth. Almost two years old now, Mark and Stacey are providing the boys with a loving Christian home and family. Sam and Cody deserve to grow up in a home that serves God. The Davidsons gave them that chance. The Campbells were another childless couple who were dealing with fertility issues and felt led to be foster parents. They were caring for 3 boys ages 2-7. They are now in the process of making the adoption final.

These three stories show a loving willingness to let God take control of hearts and lives and being led to share Him with others, in this case children. David and I are very open to adoption and yes there are, many reasons why you shouldn't do foster care or adopt...listed below.

Reasons not to be a Foster Family or Adopt
1. Could get too attached
2. Feel discouraged when child is put back into a bad situation
3. Financial strain
4. Multi-racial questions and concerns
5. Safety issues
6. Public perception
7. Family Adjustments
8. No risk of disappointment and broken heart
9. Adoptions are costly
10. Very time consuming
11. Potential of losing child to birth parents

Reasons to be a foster family or adopt
1. Change the world for a child
2. Show God to a child
3. Change your own life forever

Bottom line is fostering and adopting aren't easy...but the pros seem to outweigh the cons for us. There are so many ways to make a difference in the life of a child. We are choosing to make a difference in the lives of our 3 healthy, God-given, birth children. We are also extending our hearts to other children. We know God has a special plan for us.

No doubt God is leading us on a new journey...an adventure filled with many unanswered questions. Along the way we hope to be open to lessons we should learn, lives we should be touching, and allowing God to transform our minds and change our hearts.

We're ready and waiting...